Fuck purpose

I don’t know my purpose. I don’t know how to find it. And I don’t know what I’d do with it if I found it. I’ve been so obsessed with the idea that I’ve talked to a bunch of people on my podcast about it. Most people dance around the issue, and even those that claim to have found their purpose are unconvincing. But I’ve taken a lot away from these conversations. And I think I’ve found a life hack around it.

Purpose anxiety is real

First, it’s clear to me that purpose is not something you find, but something you chase. It’s like happiness. The happiest people I know are the ones in constant pursuit of something they know they will never find. And even when they think they’ve found it, it’s fleeting. It slips away, so they start the chase all over. As cliche as it sounds, it’s the journey, not the destination.

I heard the term ‘purpose anxiety’ and it hit me like a brick in the head. Do a search of ‘purpose’ on Spotify and you’ll find thousands of episodes laying out an easy, clear approach to finding your life’s purpose. It’s bullshit. The worst part is the anxiety it instills, because everyone seems to have found their purpose but you. Let me assure you - nobody has. The good news is there is something even better, and it’s much simpler to find.

What makes you excited?

I stole this idea from Tim Ferris in his book, The Four Hour Workweek. For me, trying to define my purpose is overwhelming. It is for most people. Tim suggests we take a much more pragmatic approach and simply ask the question, “what makes you excited?”

The opposite of happiness is not sadness, it’s boredom. And the opposite of boredom is…excitement. So rather than chase happiness or purpose, what if we simply did more of what excites us?

Doesn’t that seem more doable?

Doing more scary shit

What makes me excited, more than anything else, is doing scary things. Public speaking scares me. I forgot the lines to a Christmas play in grade 5 and I’ve been afraid of speaking every since. I’ve built a career on asking good questions to get other people to do the talking. I’ve learned how to deflect attention from myself to avoid taking the spotlight. Now I’m doing more public speaking to face this fear head on. It’s terrifying, and it’s the most exciting thing I can think of.

Maybe doing scary things excites you too. Maybe you already do enough scary shit, and excitement means something else for you. Whatever it is, ask yourself..

When is the last time I was excited? (like a 10-year-old jumping out of bed on Christmas morning excited?)

Where was I?

Who was I with?

What do these moments have in common?

Come up with a short list of things that make you excited, and go after those.

Who knows, you might even find your purpose along the way.

Whatever the fuck that is.